This is a book. Page 1

Take Note: This is a book entirely about Topher Portlock, his life and times.

Fuck.

I need to keep you interested.

I was born in New York.

….Fuck (end of page 1)

This is being started on the 17th of February, 2003. I’m 18 years old and have got some serious and intense shit going on and this is the only reason I’ve started this journey. I have plans to tell all readers, about Topher. That’s how I believe it will be most easily explained.

2-27-2003      I am Topher. You need to fucking know that! And understand that! And love it! And base this book on that sole fact. And this sole fact… I am Topher!  Topher is a man who will always be Topher. Topher doesn’t fuck around, even when he’s fucking around. Fucker.

Oh I’m just fucking with you.

I used to get really high all the time. It was my life and I loved it. I had some really intense, good, bad, funny, life changing, weird, ironic, trippy, phat, scary, stupid, and dull times smoking marijuana. It was always worth another hit, and that’s what I did, took another hit. I was always one to take another hit, and make it the biggest and baddest hit I could.

Damn if I had only had a video or audio recorder to keep record of all the amazing shit I have thought, said, done, seen, noticed, and created. I don’t know really what it is but I feel like I’m the smartest man in the world. Stop laughing bitch. I plan on using this book to help prove that I am the smartest man on earth, and I will.

I had recently pursued something that in time could make me a really happening guy. This pursuit is in the process of happening as we speak. Well it’s all tripping me out, it’s almost overwhelming, and I am anxious but at the same time patient because I know that when it works out, then it will all work out all too nicely. You see I have plans! I have a shitload of plans. Plans that if you were to see them all laid out you’d think I’m crazy. Well I am, but I’m also the smartest person in the world, one of the few people that could think of these plans. Ambitions have filled my heart and I feel that my heart will burst if I don’t get these goals and plans off of my chest. Writing a book is one of my goals in life. The book is going to be called PhilosTopher.  Once you are finished reading you will see why the book is to be called that. I feel that by writing this book I will be able to lay things out a little better and it will all be a little more visible to me. Even me, the smartest person in the world has a fuzzy vision, once my vision is clear, I will rise, then you’ll see and hear all about me, and you’ll have bought this book and you’ve only made it to this point in the book.

Whenever I talk about a genius type of idea, I believe in it and I have already envisioned it or I make it up as I go. The speech, discussion or debate I lead or partake in more or less always works out and makes the most perfect sense once I am finished speaking. These ideas I voice are profound, sensible, important, relevant, hopeful and exciting.

I’m a funny guy too. A lot of people say, “Topher is the funniest.” I know that I can say some pretty funny shit, actually some very funny shit, and it’ll make sense too. If what I say doesn’t make sense, oh well, it was still mad funny and it was meant not to make sense. I’m just a guy that will say the best thing at the best time, but I don’t always do that, and can actually fail to do that many times.  That would be too much if I did. I’d be too much of a smartass for my own or anybody else’s good.  Sometimes my mind is too foggy with many thoughts and I don’t know how to get the mind of the person I am speaking with, inside my head, where he/she can feel what I’m thinking. Shit, you could give me a phrase, like a real pointless, stupid, random, crazy, and dumb thought, and I believe I have the ability to take that phrase and turn it into something somewhat philosophical and maybe something so philosophical that it will make you cry and it will make me want to write a book about it. Well I’ve done that too many times that I am finally here, now, writing. I hope I can keep this up otherwise this time, these thoughts, the thoughts I’ve had, the experiences I’ve had, the crazy shit that only me, Topher, has experienced, will be wasted and lost. Maybe you have had wild experiences too and you’re thinking, “Fuck him man, I got a crazy life, a good story to tell, a book to write, and good thoughts to express.” Well, maybe you do.  I’m not stopping you from doing that. I hope you do.  Maybe you should challenge this book in greatness, as I challenge other books in greatness. If you don’t see writing as challenge or a battle, then take hold of my hand and we’ll cross each line of literature together and reach as far as our thoughts can take us.

 

03-02-2003      I think that I have figured out just about what I am going to do.

From about every night from this date onward, I will take a thought I’ve had during the night and write it down.

I am going to get a monkey for a pet. Then whenever I have a date with a girl and I need to entertain this girl, I will take her to the pet shop to pick up something for my pet monkey, and we will walk through the shop looking at the pets.

Me, Fox and Missy were riding in Topher’s Altima to go to Mike Heinz’s and we were talking about time, and its existence. There is no eluding time. It will always exist, all the time. If there is ever a place where time is of no meaning and relevance, then that place is the place where eternity rests.

03-03-2003     I feel like today is going to be a real turning point in my life forever.

Tomorrow I will go see Jon Dennis and give him my money and he’ll give me the book on my invention and I’ll go get $ 15000 dollars from a wise investor and then I’ll go back to Jon Dennis and before I know it I’ll have a patented invention and I’ll sell it to a beverage company and I will be making millions of dollars and really scoring big with everything that I do.

03-04-2003
If you know me personally, this book may mean something different to you than it will to a stranger. This book is supposed to be very meaningful, inspirational, and exiting to everyone who reads it. It’s a bit of a different situation for me to think about writing a book for people I know and writing a book for the general public. The invitation is stretched for to every single person to enjoy the book, as well as my mom, dad, sisters, family, and friends.

 

 

LETTER TO PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH

Written 02-17-2003 finished 5:24pm

Dear-Hello, Mr. President

My name is ChrisTopher Portlock, 18, Senior, from Windermere, FL. I have recently had an overwhelming urge to not help but be in love with this country. This new, strong infatuation, and love for this country, that I quickly acquired, on this Presidents Day Holiday, coincidentally enough, that I have had the thought, dream, plan, inclination, talent, ability, resources, charisma, looks, determination, qualities, passion, desire, reasons, to become President myself. All I did was go to the website http://www.whitehouse.gov and I found your phone number, and I really was in absolute shock the phone number to the white house was so easily accessible, and I jumped at the opportunity to call and I did but you were closed for presidents day. I was bummed about that. But that is all fine. I then saw your very own personal E-Mail address, and I flipped out again. The thought of you reading what I am writing is a very good feeling. I feel like I am talking to a man who is on top of the world, that helps me out because as I said, I plan on being President. But it will be at least 17 years until I am 35. I feel that I, ChrisTopher Portlock will be President. But I need to start early. I’m pretty poor right now, even in debt, but I have plans and dreams of becoming financially secure and over secure, once I am over secure with finances I plan on becoming an entrepreneur and a very successful one, and I will venture far into fields of so many things, of my passions and dreams. I guess when people said “Dream Big!” I was really listening. And now so many of my big dreams have the potential to come true, just this note to you has given me much determination to go for what I want to go for, because its going to be all worth it in the end.
I think that is all from this letter of mine. I’m sorry if you had a difficult time reading this letter, there is much I still have to say to you, and so much that didn’t really come out as planned, or as I had originally envisioned writing this letter. Just remember my name. Because I think in a few years we will be shaking hands, smiling, and maybe even have a meal together, or a meeting, conference, chit-chat or something. Maybe not, but it would be cool. I’m going to be a success, believe in me, and you’ll be hearing my name sometime in the future. I was really thinking hard, and contemplating about not sending this letter. There is one reason that I did decide to send it. I figured that if I didn’t, and I became President, then it would mean nothing that I wrote this letter, and wrote it today, it would only mean something to me. Rock on President Bush!
Happy Presidents Day.